Cabbage Update: I am still on the hunt for green cabbage. I hope to make a farmer's market trip in the near future. it's about 45 minutes away from where I live, but I am determined to see how cabbage therapy works and to give you guys my honest opinion! So hold tight, I haven't forgotten!
Today I really want to talk about anger. I know for most of you anger is a natural thing. Something happens that makes you frustrated and then you feel anger. Well, I have to admit, anger is one of the most foreign feelings I've ever had in my life! Never do I feel angry! I have always been the type of person who is more sensitive than that, so instead of anger I felt: foolish, embarrassed, frustrated, sad, disappointed, wounded... but angry?! NEVER! Except since this past year when I discovered my illness.
I guess it all comes from the stages of grief. An illness, whether chronic or terminal or short-term, can cause major grief. You have lost the life of good health, sometimes forever, and you then spiral into the stages of grief, which are 1) Denial and Isolation 2) Anger 3) Bargaining 4) Depression 5)Acceptance.
You would think that after over a year of knowing and understanding my illness that I would be at the acceptance stage by now, and I have to say I am, but for some reason I keep regressing back to stage 2, anger. It's as if all of the anger I should have felt throughout my 24 years of life has all been compacted into one big burst of energy and it just decided to come out now.
I feel like I have the right to be angry!! I had a beautiful life with an amazing future. I was in college, I was in my senior year of nursing school, I had a great potential job at the hospital I completed my externship, and then.. BOOM! It all came crashing down. I suddenly was so sick I couldn't complete school. I had to leave nursing school right before the end of my first semester of senior year, and who knows what the hospital floor I worked on will think about me now. And worst of all, I have to completely START OVER NURSING SCHOOL! And as far as transferring to another college, most likely I will have to RETAKE classes that don't transfer over. Reason for some extreme anger? YES. Undoubtedly.
But in my heart I know that a nursing life is the path God has chosen for me. I want to help others. I want to be someone that can help comfort the sick. I want this profession where you can learn something new every day and touch the hearts of your patients. It is my passion and I'm not going to let anyone, or some illness, stand in my way! Even my doctor believes that I can become a nurse and have a nursing career. I will be triumphant. They always say that the best things in life are those worth waiting for, and no matter how long it takes me, I know nursing will be worth waiting for.
Sometimes you must take your anger and expend its energy upon something entirely different than yelling and throwing fits, like I have used mine to empower myself and guide me towards my destiny - nursing.
I have just applied to a college near my house and, I am happy to announce, I have just received my acceptance phone call from the office of admissions! Whoo-hoo! I will have to take a few pre-nursing courses and core classes, but I am already on my way. I am not accepted into the nursing program yet, but all I can do is push forward and tackle school one class at a time. It's not time to get apply for the program yet, so I'm just staying focused on the present. I am tired of watching life move on with me in a rut at home. I'm ready to get going and make things happen! I plan on working harder than I have ever worked before because this is my life, and I want it back!
Never lose hope. And never let an emotion take over your life. Use your emotions as fuel for the better side of you to shine. If you do that, you will succeed, one little challenge at a time.
Until next time, STAY STRONG! Xoxo,
Chelsea <3
Today's Happy Thought: SNOW DAYS (We just had ours in Georgia. Snow makes everything more magical!)
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| I took this photo in our front yard. Thought it was beautiful! (Photo used from my Instagram.) |
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